4 years ago today I was living in the town pictured here, in the 1st home I had ever purchased and had just been proposed to by the man I moved to New Jersey for. 6 months later I broke off the engagement, 1 day after that I went to a mental hospital because I thought I was loosing my mind, 3 months after that I sold my "forever home" and moved in with 3 strangers in Audubon NJ, 3 months after that I lost my job of 9 years, 3 months after that I totaled my car in an accident.
That year was my shattering year.
That year broke my heart open to the point where I never thought I would be whole again. To have been driving down the main street of Collingswood on this day and to see this rainbow- how can I not believe in Divine guidance and love? Wow. The Universe never fails to impress me. This was a reflective moment of awareness. Look closely- it's a faint double rainbow. Double rainbow meaning: positive change, transformation and abundance. Fuck yea! Then when I got home after taking this picture I could still see the rainbow from my new apartment. It slowly faded, then about an hour later 2 deer were in my neighbors yard. Deer meaning- facing challenges with grace. If I have learned anything over the past 4 years it is just that- how to maneuver the chaos with grace. I know now that I had to go through that shattering process in order to remember my wholeness. No person, house, job, car or amount of money could put me back together, validate my existence or make me happy. It was self love and remembering my divine connection to the Universe that showed me what living a life that matters is all about and helped put me back together. I am grateful for all of it. It wasn't an easy road. It took a lot of hard work and self study. It pushed me deeper into my Yoga practice and education. I wholeheartedly believe that it was only through those challenges that I could have found my gifts and ever evolving purpose in inspiring the change I wish to see in the world. You can let the world break you or you can be like the caterpillar. Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over it became a butterfly.
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